On the night he was bit by a vampire bat,
my brother turned into a vampire brat.
He used to be someone I tried to ignore,
but now he’s obnoxious like never before.
He brushes his teeth, then he sharpens his fangs.
He sweeps back his hair to get rid of his bangs.
He swoops through the room, and he messes my hair.
He’s weird. I mean, look how he dresses, I swear.
He says I’ve got zits, such an ugly complexion,
but look in the mirror—he’s got no reflection.
At dinner he makes me feel very uptight
when he raises his eyebrows and asks for a “bite.”
He stays up all night watching movies and junk,
then he sleeps upside down from the top of his bunk.
My friends won’t come over. My life is a wreck.
Let’s face it, my brother’s a pain in the neck.
Text © Neal Levin with permission of its publisher Meadowbrook Press. Illustration © Mike & Carl Gordon. Any copying or use of this poem or illustration without consent is unlawful.